Hello all,
It has been enriching to follow your discussion over the past week. With the addition of a new baby into our house, I have had little time to read so I was not able to participate much so far. I am excited, though, to enter into the discussion.
I decided to continue the format from last week and choose a quote from each chapter and let you respond. Please feel free to respond to anything that stood out to you even if I don’t mention it specifically.
Quote 1: “Michel, eighteen years of age, writes, ‘Let me appear on radio or television so that I can cry out about the pain of young men who have never been loved, who have been shuffled from place to place, who have never known the love of a family.’
This is a cry for a real neighbor, for someone who is willing to be close, who gives not just food, a house, or a job, but the sense of being loved. Where are the people who can offer this closeness to their lonely brothers and sisters?”
Nouwen writes these words in response to an article about loneliness and the need for affection. These words are a convicting call to a person like me because they make me aware of my tendency to shy away from building real relationships with people who desperately need them. How prevalent do you think loneliness is in our current society? In what ways have you experienced loneliness? How well have Christians filled this need for affection and love in your opinion? How would you answer Nouwen’s question at the end of this quote?
Quote 2: “I learned afresh that friendship requires a constant willingness to forgive each other for not being Christ and a willingness to ask Christ himself to be the true center.” Do you agree with Nouwen’s statement here? What does it mean to “forgive each other for not being Christ”? What experiences have you had with putting Christ in the center of a relationship? How does this idea relate to the call to be a good neighbor from the first quote?
Quote 3: “As I reflected this morning again on the story of the prodigal son and tried to experience myself in the embrace of the father, I suddenly felt a certain resistance to being embraced so fully and totally. I experienced not only a desire to be embraced, but also a fear of losing my independence. I realized that God’s love is a jealous love. God wants not just a part of me but all of me.” In a society that strongly defends the ideas of personal rights, freedom, and independence does a gospel that calls us to give everything to God even stand a chance? How have you experienced the tension between wanting to be embraced by God and wanting to keep your independence?
Quote 4: “Jean remarked that we have to move from feelings to conviction. As long as our relationship with handicapped people rests on feelings and emotions, a long-term, lifelong commitment cannot develop. …we need a deep conviction that God has called us to be with the poor, whether that gives us good or bad feelings.” What do you see as the difference between feelings and convictions? How do we develop convictions in our lives? What kinds of ministries are you passionate about? How have you been involved in those things?
Quote 5: “I now see clearly why action without prayer is so fruitless. It is only in and through prayer that we can become intimately connected with Jesus and find the strength to join him on his way.”
I am not sure that I have always been mindful of the relationship between action and prayer. I have a tendency to try to do good things without the constant foundation of prayer. What connection do you see between action and prayer? How have you struggled with this relationship? What happens when the community of Christ tries to act without the guidance of prayer?
Jason
Not to skip over the above great questions, but I do want to share with everyone the chapter that I reread twice because it contains so many truths, ideas, proclamations, utterances, confusion, yet a “from the heart” wonderment. Chapter 8 Jesus in the Center, begins with Nouwen’s accounts about Father George Strohmeyer’s conversion and how George had Jesus in the center of his life. That his life was “simpler, more hidden, more rooted, more trusting, more open, more evangelical, and more peaceful. ” Because of this enlightenment, Nouwen feels jealous and that he has a long way to go. He fears be labeled a “fanatic, a sectarian, a Jesus freak, a narrow-minded enthusiast” and he feels he may loose his independence (see Quote 3 above as this may apply). How many times do we feel this way? Do we want our non-Christian friends to see us being all “churchy”? Do we hide from Jesus love when we are out in public? Is our generousity in times of only great wealth as Nouwen’s said he felt his was at times, or do we give even when we are at our poorest. His sentence, “Thus, I never really give God a chance to show me his boundless love.” spoke to me. He named that day’s journal, Be Faithful in our Adoration. I intend to work on doing just that.
Linda,
Thank you so much for sharing. I too, am haunted by Nouwen’s admission that he has never truly given “God a chance to show me his boundless love.” Incredible statement of faith. As he confesses, we often insulate ourselves from need so much that we haven’t directly experienced God’s faithfulness to meet our most desperate needs.
Jarrod
Linda,
I was moved by this as well. If you look at the statements right before this, I am especially convicted by this quote “When I think critically of my life, I find that my generosity always occurs in the context of great wealth. I give some of my money, some of my time, some of my energy, and some of my thoughts to God and others, but enough money, time, energy, and thoughts always remain to maintain my own security.”
In my life as I experience peaks and valleys, I find during a peak, I don’t allow myself to experience God’s boundless love. But during the valleys, I open up my heart to God’s love because in despair I know that I can’t do this alone. When I relinquish total control, I find such freedom. Once the crisis is over, I take control back. Why is it so hard to open myself up for his boundless love all of the time?
Thanks for your comments. I think we all struggle with the tension between keeping our own independence and giving everything over to God. I like that Linda mentioned the title of the chapter, Be Faithful in our Adoration. For me, adoration is inextricably tied to worship and I feel that the act of worship is one of the gifts God has given us to help us in our quest to give all to him. I’m afraid that we have limited worship to church services or special experiences or times when the mood is just right. But, biblically, worship seems to be something that we are called to do no matter how we feel, no matter what our circumstances. I think, then, that it is importnt for us to find a rhythm of worship in our lives, intentional places and times in which we simply raise and adore God. It is only when we train ourselves to do that that we will find that it is possible for our lives to be lived as acts of worship and adoration.
Good evening all, I am enjoying the book—-definitely not Peace Like A River but has value on other levels. I think there are many people that are lonely today. To answer Nouwen’s question, I feel that the Church/family of God should be where people go to find solace, comfort, companionship and relationship. We are to be Christ to others.
I am personally involved in an online prayer room that was established to pray for one little boy who subsequently died of cancer. This connection has brought people together from all over the world to share their needs and to support one another in times of difficulty. Many in the room have challenged children themselves and a few are single moms. Our prayer list currently includes about twenty children that have cancer. It has become a ministry to me.
I fully agree that action without prayer is fruitless. If we do not have God at the center of what we are doing, it cannot succeed. God bless you all.
I’ve finally caught up!
LaNelia, That very same quote stuck with me as well. It is so easy to give in times of wealth because we still have enough left over for ourselves. So when we are without want, we give generously because its the money or time that is left over after we are fully satisfied. So while we give, it is still selfish giving because it doesn’t hurt!
It’s when things get tight (or when the economy is bad) that people start to cut back. Sadly, (self included) the first thing to go is charity because it is considered a non-necessity to our own survival. This, however, is the time when charity is most needed, and as Christians, it is our time to help others and show them Christ.