Good Monday Afternoon Everyone –
Jason and I hope that your first step into our new book, “The Road to Daybreak” by Henri Nouwen, has been a good one. I read this book years ago, and this past week, as I experienced it again, I was struck anew by how deeply thoughtful Nouwen is when it comes to the inner journey of faith and discipleship. He never shies away from speaking exactly what he feels. He never minces any words to spare himself, or us – as his readers – any embarrassment.
The fact that Nouwen was able to make the decision to leave the success and influence he was enjoying at Harvard to join a small community where handicapped people are the center of daily life, is more convicting to me than I can say. When he writes about people who go to school to learn how to be skilled in “helping professions” (such as doctors, counselors, or ministers) more out of a drive to achieve personal success and admiration than to primarily use their skills to actually help others, it convicts me to the very core. It forces me to reassess why I went into full-time ministry in the first place…to use it as a ladder to climb, or to help people as its own reward? What kind of subtle lies have I possibly been telling myself without even realizing it?
I know that it can be a challenge to read someone else’s private thoughts in a journal. “The Road to Daybreak” is a very different experience for the reader than “Peace Like A River.” It has very little narrative to hold the various entries together, and yet it is a compelling story nonetheless…the story of one man’s spiritual transformation. It is that amazing tale of personal change that keeps me coming back for more. I hope that each of you feel something of the same thing.
I thought that the best way to get us to interact online would be to post a few quotes from the first 5 chapters of the book, and ask you to weigh in on them.
Quote #1:
“Many mentally handicapped people experience themselves as a disappointment to their parents, a burden to their families, a nuisance to their friends. To believe that anyone really cares and really loves them is difficult.” (pg. 19)
- I believe that more people than just handicapped people “experience themselves as a disappointment” to the people around them. What do you think Nouwen means with this phrase? Why do you think that many of us struggle with this sense of being a disappointment to the people in our lives? Why is it difficult for some of us to truly believe that the people in our lives who profess to care about us and love us really mean it? How can we overcome this nagging sense of self-doubt?
Quote #2:
“The remarkable thing…is that sitting in the presence of God for one hour each morning – day after day, week after week, month after month – in total confusion and with myriad distractions radically changes my life…I might think that each hour is useless, but after 30 or 60 or 90 such useless hours, I gradually realize that I was not as alone as I thought; a very small, gentle voice has been speaking to me far beyond my noisy place.” (pg. 30)
- You and I may not spend 1 hour each morning trying to pray, trying to quiet ourselves in the presence of God, but most of us probably try to do that at least 10 minutes each day. Have you found that you also struggle with feeling like that time is “useless?” What are the challenges we face when we try and have a regular quiet time with God? Have you ever experienced the truth that Nouwen is sharing in these words…that after some time, those many quiet times of distraction have actually been worthwhile to your spiritual life all along anyway?
Quote #3:
“When handicapped people pray for handicapped people, God comes very near.” (pg. 37)
- One of the central themes of this book is that while some people are physically handicapped in obvious ways, we are all handicapped in one way or another, many times in invisible ways that only we know about. Another way to say what Nouwen is trying to say here is, “When hurting and broken people pray for hurting and broken people, God comes very near.” In what ways do you know that Nouwen is right when he says this? How have your own prayer experiences with others proved his statement true?
Quote #4:
When Raymond, a handicapped man in the Daybreak community, is hit by a car, Nouwen joins everyone else in asking God to watch over him and be good to him as his life hangs in the balance. Nouwen and some others get the chance to meet with Raymond’s parents, who are understandably heartbroken and confused. Nouwen writes, “When we all came together in our common concern for Raymond, we were able to express our feelings to each other…soon a new community developed. Raymond’s father said… ‘You are as much fathers to Raymond as I am,’ and thus acknowledged our pain. We were able to understand why he had not always been grateful for the work Daybreak had done for his son, and thus acknowledged his deep anguish. Raymond’s situation remains critical. We do not even know if he will survive the night. But all those who love him are united and support each other in their struggle…and that certainly is a tangible way in which God has responded to our prayers.” (pg. 42)
- When Nouwen claims that God’s action of creating peace between the Daybreak community and Raymond’s father is a tangible response to their prayers for God to be good to Raymond…do you agree with his, or do you think that Nouwen is too easily letting God of the hook? Try to be as open and honest here as possible.
Quote #5:
“It is not so much the ability to think, to reflect, to plan, or to produce that makes us different from the rest of creation, but the ability to trust. It is the heart that makes us truly human.” (pg. 48)
- I’d like to hear your responses to Nouwen’s claim here about what it means to be truly human. He says that above all, it is our ability to trust. To trust in God and in one another. Do you agree or disagree? If trust truly is so central to our human existence and experience, why do you think it is so hard to live lives of trust?
I know that this is an awful lot to consider, reflect on, and respond to. It is not my intent to overwhelm us on our very first week of sharing about this book. If it makes it easier, just pick one quote above to interact with. And perhaps more than anything, please share a quote or thought for the first 50 pages of this book that have really stayed with you. I look forward to your comments.
Jarrod
Good afternoon. I am glad to be doing a new book. It serves me well to have a goal in reading.
First, as a disclaimer, I am “beaten down” by almost all things Catholic—-just being open here—-no offense intended. From their symbols and icons, to the assigning of God-like characteristics to a mortal man or the mother of Christ, I have little patience with it. Again no offense intended
Here I put my soap box back in the closet. I guess I preface with that to say that I am pushing through it and enjoying the book.
Quote #1 I would suspect that most handicapped people who feel like a disappointment to their parents or others do so because of the way in which they have been treated by those same people. We can be so cruel to those that are not like us whether physically or emotionally. I know it is not as bad as decades ago when the infirmed were simply put in institutions but it is still a problem I fear. (I just went back and deleted two sentences in my first paragraph because they seemed insensitive—-potentially cruel.)
Hey I never claimed perfection.
Quote #2 I have never struggled with quiet time with God seeming useless or wasted time. I struggle with prioritizing my time to simply make that occur. I let life get in the way.
Quote #3 I think there is an innocence in handicapped people—whether physical or mental—that others of us lack. I fear we become jaded and take all that is good for granted. The handicapped have a different outlook and they cherish every minute and everything that happens to them. I feel that God longs for all of us to be that innocent and open to Him.
Quote #5 I think that the heart is at the very center of humanity. I know so many people that have head knowledge but have no sense as to how to reach out and relate to their fellow man—to minister to the hurting. I know everyone has their own skill set but we should all be more attuned to the people around us, so that we can not only tell them about God but be God/Christ to them.
Favorite quote or passage: I enjoyed the story about the men/priests/fathers who went to the deserted island to teach the monks the Lord’s prayer—the “Our Father” as it was referrenced. Then the monks come walking on the water to the boat saying they cannot remember the prayer. It seems that they had accomplished much more than just learning a memorized prayer. They had a relationship with the Master.
I know I cannot compete with Renae but these are my meager offerings.
Thanks guys
John,
Thanks for being first. And thanks for your honesty about being turned off by Catholic language and trappings. I can’t say that I am personally as negatively affected by Catholic church culture as you are, but there are aspects to it that make me uncomfortable.
I think one of the best things about reading a book is that it can take you places you would never otherwise go. It helps you see the world through someone else’s eyes, even if those eyes belong to someone who makes you a little uncomfortable. Books are a safe way to have that kind of perspective changing experience.
As we continue in this book, we will keep finding that Nouwen is unquestionably Catholic, which makes him different from many of us in some ways, and yet he is similar to us in very important and profound ways. He longs to be close to the heart of God, to follow Christ without pause or question…and in the end, that is what we want too.
Thanks again for sharing, John. I look forward to what you have to share in the days and weeks to come.
- Jarrod
Quote #1 / #5 (related)- While it is probably true that many mentally handicapped people feel they are a disappointment, most truely mentally handicapped people do not know or are able to discern that they are a disappointment, otherwise they are more physically handicapped than mentally handicapped. We had, in our family, a truely mentally handicapped member, who has gone on to be with the Lord who lived for 31 years, yet could not talk, walk or care for themselves and had almost zero brain waves. She was cared for by my husband’s sister all those years, yet I doubt that she ever knew much about her care. On the other hand, many physically handicapped people who cannot care for themselves feel the burden deeply that their care is a burden to their caregivers. I retired, disabled three years ago. While most would not think of me as disabled, I can barely walk the forty yards from Riverside’s handicapped parking to a pew in the rear of the church. Dressing myself is difficult. I know my husband had taken on things, (like vacuuming) that are surely a burden to him and I feel bad that I cannot do many of the things that we looked forward to when we both retired. I know he is disappointed and depressed at times. But I do know who truly loves me, those who like me and those who just tolerate me (ha) and I have complete trust in each of those categories. You learn to build trust the older you get. Sort of like a small child has trust in you to meet and care for his needs, there is a time of return to this as we age. If you are in poor health or handicapped, you reach that stage sooner, I think.
Quote #2 – Now that my time is my own I have found more time to meditate. Since I am a positive optimissistic person, this has been very rewarding. More reading the bible, more reading books, enjoying the earth and nature, it has been the best time in my life to reflect on the meaning of a lot of things.
Quote #5 – To me, our hearts are our human “souls”. We are “pierced” in our hearts to repentance. We are “pricked” in our hearts with many other emotions. Our hearts rule our brain, and in doing so, perhaps our trust. I don’t find it difficult to trust, but my husband does. Our hearts are perhaps a deeper subject than I am qualified to speak.
I read slower and less frequently than you guys do, so I’m not going to be able to keep up (I’m only on Chapter 3). Typically I read on the bus ride into work every morning. I read a paragraph and then it makes me think of times and/or places, you know what I mean, pivot points in life, so I’ll just sit there and stare in the distance thinking back on those times. This morning was no different.
I made it to Nouwen’s entry on page 28 for September 17 and this particular sentence stopped me. “…even if it is hard for me to pray I feel held there. It is as if the room prays for me. I know of few places where the presence of prayer is so tangible. If I can’t pray, I go there so that I can at least breathe air rich with prayer.” I started thinking about those kinds of places I’ve been to in my life. I thought of the Loretto Chapel in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Do you know the story? If not go to lorettochapel.com/history.html. It’s an interesting read.
So I walked into this chapel in the middle of the afternoon, and there’s an interesting mix of people. This “mix” was almost evenly split down the middle. Half were tourists snap-snap-snapping picture after picture after picture, grinning, laughing, pointing. The other half were worshippers. Intense worshippers. I don’t mean the charismatic kind that are swaying back and forth moaning, I mean the kind that just sit there and silently weep and gaze at the staircase (you’ll have to read the story to understand this meaning). This latter half, like Nouwen, were breathing the air rich with prayer. I stared at them while they stared at the stairs, and I wondered what was running through their minds. What were they thinking and feeling at that moment in time that made them weep, and when they left to go home what would they be taking with them? Some had their heads bowed and wept, some were leaning forward hands clasped together and weeping, some were totally fixated on the stairs as if they were watching someone walking up and down the stairs. Maybe someone was there on the stairs and I just didn’t have the eyes for it.
I also thought about a little Russian Orthodox chapel in Volgograd near the Volga River. A little room, actually. The second day of my first trip to Volgograd, John Cooke took me to this chapel, this little room. It is small, about 10X10. It is made entirely of wood but I don’t know the type of wood. Inside and out is, as Nouwen mentions on page 27, rich in Orthodox iconography. I remember walking up the sidewalk to this little chapel and once I was inside I had never heard such quiet. Does that make sense? The iconography was everywhere, all over the walls and ceiling, and the air was thick with burning incense. And it was quiet. It was as if someone pushed the mute button in my head because all of a sudden I was aware of the ringing in my ears that’s constantly there with me unless I have background noise to drown it out. There was an old babushka, stooped and layered in rags and a head scarf pulled down tight on her head, and she was standing at the door saying something to me in Russian. I don’t know what she said but her worn out hands were gesturing me to come in and be holy with this holy place, you know, “let the room pray for me” as Nouwen said. Or at least that’s what I chose to believe. So I did. I walked in. I stood there for a couple of minutes, but I don’t think I stayed long enough to “let the room pray for me,” or maybe it did I don’t know. I do know that I got antsy. I guess I have too much American in me and time is money, and there were other things to do and see, and John was waiting outside and I didn’t want to make him wait too long. Looking back on the experience, I feel like the tourists in the Loretto Chapel; I came, I saw, I left. But at least I left that place knowing it was rich with prayer. It was, and is, a room that one can breathe in Russian prayers. I think when I go back to Volgograd, I’ll go to this place and stay longer and let the room pray for me. I’m sure it will.
There are places around Dallas where the air is rich with prayer because at various times in my life and when I felt like I needed it most, I pulled the car off the road and sat for minutes or hours and prayed and just thought about things. A park. An alley. An empty lot with a high brick wall around it where a house used to be. Since I took up running a few years ago, that now seems to be the best time for me to “breathe the air rich with prayer.” I think I’ve run every major street in Coppell, and some in Dallas, some in Fort Worth, and for hours I’ll breathe that air, you know, that air rich with prayer. I wish I could tell you that breathing in that much air of prayer has had immediate and obvious positive result. But I can’t. I suppose in some ways small it has, in some ways large it has. But in some ways large it hasn’t, and it’s those large ways that I keep looking for another room or another street to run on with “air rich in prayer” to breathe in those prayers and say my own and perhaps God will have mercy on me and the people I love and pray for.
I’ll start by stating that I have not started this book. I have read other Nouwen books, and I’ll be reading this one.
However, I did read Mike’s post about running and prayer, and I feel compelled to say something. Like Mike, I have also run every street in Coppell. I have run them with others and I’ve run them by myself. When I’m by myself, I find that one of the things that I do is pray. I am a very antsy person and I don’t know that I could sit somewhere and pray for an hour, but I have no problems doing while running.
Linda / Mike / Ron,
Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.
Linda – I really like the idea of being an optimist in the midst of meditation. Unlike you, I am naturally a pessimistic person, and my quiet times can turn into private “beat myself up” sessions. But if I were to make the decision to think positively and only positively in my quiet times, I think that could make all the difference in the world.
Mike – Your way with the written word is obvious, and greatly appreciated. Thanks especially for your personal story about the chapel in Russia. I could almost imagine being there next to you.
Ron – Thanks for highlighting the idea of praying while being active physically. Praying while running, walking, doing yard work, washing the dishes, or doing anything else that is repetitive and easy to do without undivided attention, is a wonderful opportunity to pray. It lets the sacred nature of prayer infiltrate our everyday comings and goings, and that is always a wonderful thing to have happen.
I look forward to hearing more thoughts as the week goes on…
Jarrod
As I read the first 50 pages, I thought about Jarrod’s sermon a few weeks ago regarding loving people out of hope not pity. It is very obvious that the workers at L’Arche do not love the handicapped residents out of pity but truly love them out of hope. We need to truly take this to heart in all of our relationships.
I was struck by the simple but powerful prayer of the Russian Monks “Dear God, There are 3 of us and there are of you, have mercy on us” I often struggle with having the right words to say when I am praying. I think I need to stop focusing on the word because God truly knows what is in my heart.
I’m still waiting on my book to arrive…I’m beginning to wonder if I had it shipped to the wrong address!
Regardless, I have loved reading all of your responses this week. I can really relate to LeNelia’s post because I often am too focused on the words that are/are not coming out of my mouth. I think this is why I do not usually voice my prayers in public. The prayer-partner challenge has really helped me in this area. However, if I truly understand that God knows what is in my heart, then the words will not be as much of an issue. Thanks LaNelia for bringing this back to the forefront of my mind!